The few dishes that passed us on their way to nervous-looking diners didn't look that fresh either, and just so our romantic evening was perfect, the owner/host ended up getting into a heated shouting match with the couple waiting for a table in front of us (perhaps they had mentioned the smell). We beat a hasty retreat once the shoving and pushing started. Starving, and now smelling like fish, we ended up eating pizza on a street corner in our fancy clothes. We were back home in time to read our kids the last story before bedtime.
All the traditional romantic go-to's end up the exact same way:
Jewelry is a bust because after eight years of marriage, I still don't know what Karel likes (perhaps because she still does not know what kind of jewelry she likes, and her moods tend to change with her hair color), and we both agree that we would rather get the hole in the kitchen ceiling fixed before I even begin considering a sparkly purchase, especially if it's going to be the wrong something sparkly.
Chocolates work for me, but not in a romantic way. More of an I-will-eat-an-entire-box-of-chocolates-then-feel-sick-to-my-stomach-and-roll-around-on-the-floor-groaning-about-how-I-ate-too-many-chocolates sort of way. Karel doesn't like to bring candy into the house for this reason.
Neither of us sing, or play the guitar, or write poetry, so thankfully we don't have to try to make the lover's leap off that embarrassing bridge. I sometimes rap 2 Live Crew lyrics to her to make her laugh, but I don't think that counts as conventional romance.
So what does work for us? Karel and I keep our gestures simple and secretive: letting the other sleep in on Saturday, crawling into bed together before we're tired so that we have a chance to catch up, or even something as small as remembering to bring the other person a glass of water before we get comfortable on the couch. For me, a special occasion is Karel in a lacy bra, and for Karel it's coming home to a finely vacuumed first floor. Those are the extras we crave, the things that say, "I was thinking about you today."
The truth is, Karel and I kinda like eating pizza on the corner in our modest finery, we are in total agreement about how and where our money is best spent, "Mississippi Queen" is a pretty good rock song even if it does make for a crappy anniversary ballad, and finding a rose petal stuck to my posterior three days after the fact was a teachable moment for everyone involved. When it comes to showing my affection, all I can really do is remember to tell my wife I love her every day, hold her hand on our evening walks with the kids, and cherish the moments when we fall asleep laughing together. If I can get the little stuff right, maybe that's the most romantic act of all.
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All the traditional romantic go-to's end up the exact same way:Jewelry is a bust because after eight years of marriage, I still don't know what Karel likes (perhaps because she still does not know what kind of jewelry she likes, and her moods tend to change with her hair color), and we both agree that we would rather get the hole in the kitchen ceiling fixed before I even begin considering a sparkly purchase, especially if it's going to be the wrong something sparkly.
Chocolates work for me, but not in a romantic way. More of an I-will-eat-an-entire-box-of-chocolates-then-feel-sick-to-my-stomach-and-roll-around-on-the-floor-groaning-about-how-I-ate-too-many-chocolates sort of way. Karel doesn't like to bring candy into the house for this reason.
Neither of us sing, or play the guitar, or write poetry, so thankfully we don't have to try to make the lover's leap off that embarrassing bridge. I sometimes rap 2 Live Crew lyrics to her to make her laugh, but I don't think that counts as conventional romance.
So what does work for us? Karel and I keep our gestures simple and secretive: letting the other sleep in on Saturday, crawling into bed together before we're tired so that we have a chance to catch up, or even something as small as remembering to bring the other person a glass of water before we get comfortable on the couch. For me, a special occasion is Karel in a lacy bra, and for Karel it's coming home to a finely vacuumed first floor. Those are the extras we crave, the things that say, "I was thinking about you today."The truth is, Karel and I kinda like eating pizza on the corner in our modest finery, we are in total agreement about how and where our money is best spent, "Mississippi Queen" is a pretty good rock song even if it does make for a crappy anniversary ballad, and finding a rose petal stuck to my posterior three days after the fact was a teachable moment for everyone involved. When it comes to showing my affection, all I can really do is remember to tell my wife I love her every day, hold her hand on our evening walks with the kids, and cherish the moments when we fall asleep laughing together. If I can get the little stuff right, maybe that's the most romantic act of all.
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